VIDEO: Nicolas Cage Drives Car for Cash in Chinese Car Commercial

Nicolas Cage, the world’s greatest movie star (and no, we won’t argue that point) must need a few extra bucks (can’t imagine why) because he...

Nicolas Cage, the world’s greatest movie star (and no, we won’t argue that point) must need a few extra bucks (can’t imagine why) because here featured in a crazy Chinese commercial for the BAIC Senova D-Series automobile featuring a white-knuckled car chase and stuns ‘o plenty.

The jokes just seem to write themselves for this sort of thing (just insert the titles Wicker Man, Bangkok Dangerous, or Ghost Rideranywhere), but auto enthusiast website thesmokingtire.com has actually broken down every zany impossible and cliched thing about this commercial. And we list them below:

1. The story is merely a backdrop for stunts- Actually, in this case, it’s indiscernible. Cage runs from people, who turn out to be smiling women, and is then welcomed into what looks like a church community. Ok then.

2. There is a J turn- Of course there is. Does the hero car drive in reverse, yet out-run the forward-moving bad guys? You betcha!

3. There’s drifting- Which is accentuated by the car striking an arc of plastic barriers, perfectly. “Put a slide in there, the kids love sliding cars.” This reminds me of Acura’s commercial starring their very FWD wagon drifting a U-turn. Another option we didn’t get here.

4. The cars sound nothing like they sound- The Senova D series is offered with a 1.8, 2.0, or 2.3 liter four-banger. The cars in the video sound an S500. Another cool feature we were forbidden from. Damn NHTSA…

5. Unrealistic Shifting- Let’s break down the shifts:

- Shift #1 Nic pulls the shifter back (like you would from 3-4, or R to D), and accelerates away from bad guy #1. Ok, so that’s the magical gear to accelerate, agreed? Excellent.

- Shift#2 he pulls it the same way and it kicks him up on the two left wheels? noted. Ohhhh kay… maybe it’s like Cruisin’ USA, where the gas pedal does everything, that would make sense.

- Shift #3, he spins around and pushes the lever forward, presumably into rever-WAIT A SECOND. He pushes the shifter TO the same spot he pulled it FROM in the previous shifts! Which would mean he had the car in reverse during those stunts! Shenanigans! Shennnnnannnigannnns!